Am I the bad boy of the bread world?

Some bread is easy.  It comes together like a dream, it rises beautifully and bakes up perfectly the very first time–and this is important–every time thereafter.  Other bread does not.  But I have rarely had trouble with getting to a consistently great end product the way I have had with the Tartine Style bread I have talked about before.  I have baked it several times and it has been good.  I have baked it several times and it has openly defied me by refusing to rise.  And I have baked it several times and it has been truly outstanding.  All of the above would be fine if it proceeded in a linear fashion through these options until the end, but alas, every once in a while when I feel I have it truly in hand, the bread spits in my eye and pulls its nasty trick of not rising again.  One time, to work through this, I made it 5 times in one week.  And it makes 2 loaves each time.  The bread to day ratio that week was troubling.  I like to think I have it all ironed out at this point, but I guess I wouldn’t be surprised to open the lid of the baking pot one day and discover a squat, flat, take-that-in-your-overconfident-face-loaf.  Do I personify and project onto my bread creations?  Maybe.

So the obvious question here is why.  Why do I continue to make it, like I did this week for my giveaway to a co-worker and friend of my husband?  There are literally thousands of other bread options I could have baked.  I have 3 other of the same artisan-style loaves on my site alone that have never failed me.  And yet, this one calls me back.  It dares me to continue to best it.  Where did this desire come from to beat the dough instead of admitting defeat?  Is it the one that got away?  Is it the bad boy of the bread world that I am trying to tame?  Is it simply a matter of my pride?  Or could it be something more?  Could it be that there is a specific satisfaction that comes from getting up off the (metaphorical cooking) floor, and to come at something again and again?  Does this bread hold a special place in my mind just because of the trouble it has given me?

The truth is I really don’t know why I go back to this recipe again and again.  For now, it is a mystery.  But I did bake it this week, and I feel sure I will continue to again and again.  This week, it turned out beautifully.