Two and a half months into 2019, and I thought I would give a little update on how I am doing with my mantra this year of enough. As I mentioned before, I never really loved the concept of enough before. It always seemed to scream barely adequate. I want to always push for more. But new year, new me wondered about any freedom that may come with enough. Enough can mean not wasting effort after all, or occurring in quantity to satisfy and to “fully meet needs.” That doesn’t sound bad at all.

So, how am I doing with that? Yeah…41 years of pushing for more don’t go away in the time it takes to create an inspirational letterboard. Case in point.

I had friends visiting the other day and way overdid it. Like, triple the amount of food needed, sent people home with stuff, my kids ate it for 3 meals after everyone left overdid it I settled on a comfort food menu and made 5+ lbs of meatballs and two huge trays of focaccia. In addition to a deconstructed Caesar salad. For 7 people. Plus two desserts. Generally, I like to do snacky style food when people come over versus the typical sit-down. It works for our house, and it keeps people active and engaged. Sort of like a food activity that keeps the party going. But this was a bit overwhelming. So many meatballs were staring at people. The focaccia was piled high too. There is only so much cajoling of friends to eat one can do in polite society. It takes on a creepy and sinister quality if you go too far. Not sure where on that line I landed actually, but when games went way past midnight and some suggested a midnight meatball, I was internally cheering. Hard. It wasn’t even my suggestion.

So why does this come under enough? So what, you made extra food? Always better too much, than not enough, right? Yes, and I will always think that. But all jokes aside, I think my desire for creating abundance when people come over has a bit of a downside. My night of many meatballs got me thinking about a better way. Desperation is never a good look, and what if more could have been communicated with a little less. What if not spending 3 days planning and preparing would have left me more time to do other prep for their visit like create an amazing playlist, or maybe even just take a nap. What if my focus wasn’t on the food prep, but more on prepping to make everyone feel loved and cherished. And would that have made me a little less desperate for them to eat.it.all. I guess what I wonder is, could I have had enough and not gone overboard? And the answer, of course, is yes. Don’t get me wrong, I think it was still a wonderful time, and nary a soul complained. In fact, I would say it was a great success! We talked, we laughed, we heard stories, we played games, we drank, and yes, we ate. But as someone whose main purpose in providing hospitality is as an expression of love, I can’t help but roll game (and prep) tape to see where I could improve for next time.

I guess you could argue that the idea of improving is not being content with enough of a good time with friends. You might be right. But baby steps here people. I am only 2.5 months into this thing.

So my conclusion is this. I love to cook and to have people over. I love nothing more than standing around our kitchen island covered in abundance to tell people they are loved. But if we are standing around piles of food I have slaved over and the other person doesn’t feel loved because I am fretting over the food instead of laughing at their punchline or looking them in the eye, what have I really created? Certainly not enough in the right sense. The food is the medium, but it is not the message. So my update on enough is getting clear on the point. It can’t be about the food. It never was. It can’t be about a great playlist or even a perfect story. It has to be about the connection with the people around the table. And when the focus is right, it is most certainly enough.